Today the leak in my dam opened even more. I couldn't hold my rage. Well, at least, I couldn't at the degree that I used to. I don't know if I should be happy, of if I should be worried about that. I don't swallow my feelings. But it was strange. This weeks have been that way. I am no longer the tender person that I used to be...now, people began to see my fangs.
And the need to be good at everything. A feeling that doesn't let me enjoy things, just because I am afraid of not doing them well.
Don't hold on your emotions. Let them go. Well. It's kinda scary. But maybe it's true that if I keep everything it will hurt me. Just as I commented in Ahora andá y viví.
Specially when all of them come around together. Specially those which make me struggle harder: loneliness and envy.
They confuse me, make me think more than I want to. And make me feel guilty. Why do I feel envy? Why am i lonely?
Is it like that travis song "why does it always rain on me, it's because I lied when I was seventheen?"
But now. I don't know. I always look to the past, and asj why? why did I do that? Do I deserve this?
Am I lonely because it's a punishment?
It was a punishment that the last greatest friend that I had......nevertheless.
I think I must go on.
And let me make mistakes.
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2 comentarios:
You feel lonely
because you were born in a society
with many problems, where people still doesn't know how to make good relationships with each other.
it doesn't happen just to you, it happens to a lot of people, as you were raised in a society the problems
you have a are consecuence of the social problems we all have. and it's much easier to solve then together with other people. we all must work on it. no one's problems are isolated from society problems... starting to think how to help the people around us maay be a good beggining.
santiago
me sacaaron las palabras de la boca... todos sentimos eso alguna vez... y mucho mas q eso, pero es cuestión de ser fuertes, no mirar tanto para atras y no se.. solo tener esperanzas de un mañana mejor... que nos queda si pensamos q el resto de nuestras vidas va a ser igual??
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