In two or three words; how do you feel?

For me, it always have been difficult to tell how I feel. If might be evident, as I am not (or I was not) good at hiding some reactions. But I think everyone is an open book for those with the ability to read it. Right now school should be joyful. But at my face I find it stressful and unenjoyable. That's not right to me as it produces suffering. Unnecesary suffering, as I can tell. But that was a small deviation from the original theme. I guess I have a problem telling someone how I feel. That person is very important to me and I tend to see only defects and vices, which I can't tell if they really exist or not. Well of course, nobody is perfect, but focusing on negative aspects cannot be a good politic. I really want to tell that person: I like you, I love you and I will do the best for you, for your happiness. But everytime we meet, a sound can't escape my throat, nor a thought my mind. And I have to stare at him at the mirror, again....

Patience

The greatest of virtues it seems. Patience is priceless, unvaluable and ever desired by everyone. Who doesn't want to be able to stand the multiples delays of life, the unevitable waiting for something better, the arrival of someone to an appointment.

But those are only the shallow powers of this divine gift, for it would serve perfectly for those with hopes and expectations. Do you hope your pain ends, do you expect your suffering to stop. Well, then patience will be your pharmakon, the perfect remedy. And it will be definitely necessary. Its nexus with hope appears as a "conditio sine qua non". Hope and Patience must be always together. Of course this not always happens. Then, the consequence is suffering. How do you expect something which you don't know when it will occur (in case it occurs)?

Indeed a gift, a stoic one. But if someone comes with a method to develop, train, create patience, please, shut it out loud, write me an email or leave a comment.

Not that I don't like you...

Luckily for me I just remembered August 2 years ago. Now things are different (yes, are, not seem to be). But anyhow, that was just a bit of memories. If something has to be fixed that is, precisely, the permanent gaze upon the past and the future (not denying their relevance, but present is always more important, and the only one that exists).

This thoughts doesn't seem very structured, nor the title adjust to the contents. Of course that I don't like a lot of things. And I would like to shut them out loud. But somehow, education, tradition, habit tend to restrain the desire. Also, fears are still there. The human condition, said a lot of writers, intelectuals and people in their works, a bar, a cafe, or even a bus stop, trying to solve the world with words of pedestrian wisdom. Am I too harsh? I hope not. Or do I hope to be? Fear. Fear is a constant. How to live with it? A permanent stock of prescription drugs? Non prescriptions drugs like alcohol, coffee, soft drinks, cookies, or even that disgusting thing called tobacco? Some think that the idea of a divinity helps to overcome the fears. That doesn't seem to be logical, as major semitic religions instill fear into the hearts of men. God is there, but the humans try to hide him.

Caution breathes a lonely breath...

Change. Why to cherish stability if change is the only stable thing? Hehehe. Now I am trying to solve the world with words of wisdom. Pedestrian wisdom. Well. I recall my words. I am just pointing out, destroying, or trying to destroy. Can't believe that I'm doing what Nietszche wrote in his "Philosopher's book".

This post should come to an end soon. This is too scattered and the objective is not being achieved. If there is such thing as an objective. It might be just the same as the majority of this posts, trying to express, like a painter express something with his work without giving it a recognizable shape or order, like a poet express without using logic, or even metrics. Maybe just trying to express something to me through the exterior. To realize that life is. That things can happen and will happen. And that some things have to be triggered, constructed, nurtured, created, birthed...

Good night