What?

Exercising the exercise of narcisism, or at least trying to find out what does those eyes says. It is a difficult exercise to look at yourself at the eyes and tell to you what are you, to see what you are, to avoid all things you don't like in the outside, and to look deep inside to find out, without stereotypes, and sillyness, just yourself, plain, genuine, no attachments.

And there was me, trying to find out so, and found somethings, but I didn't avoid the exterior, and my concerns about it, the physical illness (or hypochondriasis) and all the defenses. All the "I don't cares" all the "it doesn't affect me" faces, all the "stay away" attitudes.

And It's still difficult to see through.

But tomorrow I will do something that relates to that, somehow. Another try to find out, another way to probe that I can live my life and pursue what I am, what I'm being, what I want to be, even when I'm not pretty sure. But I will try.

Mmmm thinking too much as usual.

[paragraph erased 03/Sept/2007]

AS you can see, it wasn't just schizophrenia these days.

What do you see when you really look at you?
What do you feel.?

What's left.

And that's the title that came to my mind when the window opened. What's left. And as usual why?
Which is the barrier that stops the flowing of the energy?
Why am I writing this metaphisyc crap?
Do we really have the power?
Are we just pawns of the Universe?
Do things have a reason?
Or things just happen?

I don't know, and probably will never know...
Just want to live, not to suffer life, but to live life.

I guess that's all for today

At last the rain.

And also with the rain came other stuff. Strange that a friend of mine is telling me that his state of mind it's not the ideal. Mine neither. After a week of normality, as Mona Montrois said: "Oh God, here it comes. The internal struggle, the orgy of Doom". And why why why I ask. If everything was going so well. Then it comes all the anxiety, the anger, the sadness and confusion, the doubt, the guilt. And then, it's like if I was hit by a truck or something. Try to rescue me. And try to figure out me.

And then again, it comes and goes, and incoherence flows.

Definition

Wallflower.- person who has no one to dance with or who feels shy, awkward, or excluded at a party.

Doscientas y una entradas.

Como diría la Comisión Federal de Electricidad de México, se dice fácil, pero requiere grandes dosis de procrastinación. Jajajaja. En verdad nunca creía que esto del blog fuera a durar tanto para mí, pero ha sido, de nuevo, un ejercicio creativo, de expresión y emocional bastante bueno. A veces siento que cuento de más, a veces de menos, pero creo que ha sido en la medida de lo justo, puesto que solo gente que aprecio y otras personas que estoy teniendo el privilegio de conocer, a pesar de la distancia lo leen.

Ahora me gustaría agradecer a quienes comentan y a quienes no jajaja y esperar que sigan leyendo y disfrutando, si es que les agrada lo que leen.

Termino este post con otra frase para completar:

No hay contento en esta vida, que se pueda comparar.........

Celebremos la entrada 200

Con algo bien bien pero bien gracioso. Jajaja. Dedicado a ti, mi querido M4st3r-X-. Lo necesitas:

¡Completa la Frase!

Completa la frase de Quevedo y hazte acreedor a un minuto de tu tiempo procrastinado:

No hay placer más descansado....

Noches....

Noches calientes (no, no piensen mal...). Simplemente hace calor, no afuera, sino que el sol recalienta las paredes de mi habitación y pues ya se imaginaran. De cualquier modo eso no impide que siga con este reto, en parte motivado, en parte autoimpuesto. El buen M4st3r-X- escribió hoy día acerca de la procrastinación (hacer concha, hueva, desidia..etc.) y de su costumbre de comer como un ave (es decir, sin masticar). La procrastinación es mala. Jajaja bueno, lo único de malo es que conduce a un stress posterior que resulta aún peor que el stress inicial de haber terminado el trabajo a tiempo. Solo que a veces parece inevitable.

Ultimamente he identificado una serie de frases que se identifican en parte con lo que siento que era, dejé de ser y ahora, vuelvo a ser poco a poco.

Esta es una de ellas:

Bueno, esto es todo por esta noche, el calor es canijo.

O hisashiburi desu...

It's been a while (I hope that this phrase don't become so frecuent). Damn Camino!, seems to be good, but I can't disable the spellcheck and it is becoming annoying (because it's the spanish version).

There are good things to say in this so called personal blog. I am less crazy than weeks ago and seems that things are going ok and well. Ok, I think it's done. I can go on.

Past may 15 was the macniversay and I totally forgot to make a mention of it in this blog. Sometimes happen, that you are thinking to do or to say something and when the day comes, you just forget it. Well, that happened to me, but now, it's about one year that I am in the wonderful world of Mac.

But that is the less important. I'm becoming a normal being. How's that?

Well, I am just acquiring some balance in life. My mind has been better. I've been smiling more. Worrying less. And that's good, pretty good indeed, in other words, I am holding to life again, not just leting go.

Starting from today, I shall try to accomplish a challenge that M4st3r-X- gave me. To post daily an entire week. I don't know ir it is going to work, or how the quality of the posts is going to be, but I'll give it a try.

So, I'm gone. Until tomorrow.