sábado, octubre 06, 2012

Excess and Lack.

I don't know why waiting rooms have this annoying illumination. Whether is a hospital, an office, a school, the driver's licence department, an airport or bus terminal; all the waiting rooms must have uncomfortable chairs, eye piercing lights and, if you're lucky, bad smell and great potential of boredom.

And also, the hiding possibility of deception. Usually, the situations in which you have to be waiting in such compartments, are the ones when you can be extremely nervous, expectant, hoping for something: the health of a beloved one, a swift journey, a job or a place at school.

Yes. Being there is not pleasant at all. And yet you have to do it very often. But it becames a bit harder when you feel ill prepared, even if you have proven to be good. Nevermind, you're not what they need. You're plane already took off.

It doesn't matter if you search through your notebook, reading the highest thoughts of the greatest mind, knowing that you have commited to them, learned them, hoping to reach them in their all-glowing virtue. The facts are: you need to do something: drag yourself into the world of sycophancy, to beg for a few coins while you try to not be crushed by the weight of the thoughts you set so high upon you.

Acting like if your maxims where to be universal laws start to become meaningless. Also the abiding of love. The power of virtue. Even the striving to persevere in life. All starts to fade out and then you wonder if discovering such thoughts wasn't a big mistake, if it is really that ignorance is bliss.

But there is no turning back. The blessing or course cannot be lifted. The first moment of commitment with such ideas was a crossroad. The road has been chosen. And somehow it is neccesary to figure out, how to walk it...