Les jours tristes.

I want to do a lot of things, I have to do a lot of things, I must (I guess) to do a lot of things. But I don't do much. But writing, transforming this space into a weeping scroll, writing in english. I was thinking about it, why do I write in english. Because it is less painful. It is like if someone else was writing, instead of me, but I know that is me. I know it sounds weird, but common people do a lot of weird things. Yesterday some things happened at work that still annoy me. Well it's kinda normal, but still bothers me, along with the other stuff that is hurting me right now. Well, but I have to say thank you. Thanks to my to beloved friends for helping me and listening to me. Sometimes I complain about that I am a closed, kinda lonely person. That I do not have many friends. But at least the few I have are the greatest. But it scares me too much when the moment that they will walk away come. It is irrational and stupid to worry about that, but, as I said, for a person like me...

As things goes on I feel a sudden anxiety of what is coming. For example, tonight. I always think that for some reason I don't fit in life in common stuff, common diversions. That tends to make me angry. On the other side, I like to spend time with the people I care, make bond stronger and also giving me the opportunity to know other people.

Maybe it's a fear of not being good enough or interesting enough. Maybe....

But for now I shall leave, because this mixture of anger, sadness, and other feelings tends to overwhelm me.

Maybe later I'll post a story that I've heard sometimes. Just to ask for an opinion.

Que estén bien.