Another day, and its night.

Full of questions that were made to me. But not as full of answers. This day was better than yesterday, and the day before yesterday, and the day before the day....Ok, knock it off. Affection. Give and take. Confusion. Sadness. Worries. Decisions. I've been thinkin' about all of these. I also was thinking about other stuff, but it seems that those thoughts were not attached to the reality. Or at least, that's why I think. Maybe I am getting better. I really want to be in control right now. Try to heal my wounds and go on. Go on living. Pretty ironical that I read that blog so often and don't do that.

But now, I am at a point that, at least, I can go to rest and start focusing on work and trying to help my body. My mind, well, I'm in treatment, and I think it's working. Even though some people think terapy doesn't help.

But I know that is because people worry. Specially when you wrote things like the ones in this blog jajaja.

I still feel awkard. Confused, angered, sad. But I feel relieved, because I know my friends are there to help me, and I know when I'm ok I will help them, or even if I am not ok, I will help them when they need me. I feel relieved, because I people I care of, is now awakening to a new life.

I just hope I can be the person that I want to be...not just this weeping puppet.

I will finish this post with a psalm, that was the only that I remembered when I needed to. I don't know if it is a message from God, or just a casualty. If it's just a hope, or maybe a wrong idea. If everything is going to be ok for me, or the next week is going to be worst. I don't know what I am going to do. But here it is. I feel like I want to write it down...

Salmo 121.

Levanto mis ojos a las montañas:
¿de dónde me vendrá la ayuda?

La ayuda me viene del Señor,
que hizo el cielo y la tierra.

Él no dejará que resbale tu pie:
¡tu guardián no duerme!

No, no duerme ni dormita
él guardián de Israel.

El Señor es tu guardián,
es la sombra protectora a tu derecha:
de día, no te dañará el sol,
ni la luna de noche.

El Señor te protegerá de todo mal
y cuidará tu vida.

Él te protegerá en la partida y el regreso,
ahora y para siempre.