I was writing yesterday...

And I said that I will continue today. Memories. This weekend wasn't the best at all. I was wavering through my expectations: I stayed at home, hoping to be anywhere else. I stayed alone, hoping to be with someone. Wondering again why this turn of things, when I resolved to be optimistic and better, to solve my issues. Then, the night came. And as soon as I closed my eyes to try to sleep they came. The memories. Memories of a short time, when I was with someone. I enjoyed staying with that person. I enjoyed the chats we had. I felt strange. I wasn't feeling lonely. I was thinking that, at last I was finding a place, that I was functioning as a person...That I was deeply special to someone, and that someone was also deeply special. Then, it all finished. And I think it was my fault. Because I made myself illusions from nothing. But the memories came without warning the last night. I was remembering all the good stuff. That was supposed to be good isn't it? Well, no. They were tainted with a fact. It all belong to the past. Exists no more. Probably my fault. Weekend gave me that. A sad look at my instant message program, just to realize that there is no one. Homework to be done, that is not done. Lack of interest. Lack of will. Weekend extended through monday. And monday through fear...Will talk later