A little ashamed...maybe not so little.

This morning I feel a little ashamed. Mainly because I did somethings that time ago I said that I wouldn't do. But maybe that's ok. People change, as somebody wrote in his blog. Nevertheless I think that the essence of everyone is the same. Maybe we lose some of it, we grown and build aroun it, destroy it, cut it, but at least the very essence, the primary essence of ourselves (even ehen buddist say that we should forget that concept) is with us until the day of our departure.

I feel ashamed because I harmed myself with no reason...I harmed myself fisically, and mentally. I did things that I wasn't supposed to do, why? Because it's like if someother myself, sealed and tied all the time, wanted to go out. But he couldn't. He couldn't because I am so tied, so rigid that the only thing that happened to me was a hangover.

And because of that I couldn't enjoy the company of my friends.

It's almost like an insult.

So, I am ashamed. For me, for them.