viernes, febrero 22, 2013

How to regain freedom.

There is a frequent question concerning whether or not to keep writing on a blog. As far as it seems, I has very few hits or traffic. Nonetheless, at some point, it can be a good exercise. Because there is a fundamental difference between a personal blog and a log or diary. And it is about possibility and openess. It's trying to overcome barriers. A personal diary or log has fewer possibilities to reach beyond the self. A blog, although has issues concerning indirect communication and anonimity, has the chance to launch oneself to the others, to reach out  other people by means of the words and ideas written on it, to form a connection or to consolidate one. I know sometimes that isn't the case; nonetheless, is useful specially for people who has problems to express themselves, and otherwise, it would be more difficult or nearly impossible to make such attempt.

After writing this statement, then is possible to ask a question about matters spoken in the last posts. How to regain freedom. When a person experiments a feeling, there can be different outcomes concerning the awareness of such feeling. The person can deny it, pretend that it not exists. But also can acknowledge it, which in theory should ease some distress if the feeling is stressful (sadness, grief, sorrow, etc.) Also, there can be a glimpse about the cause of such feeling (separation from the beloved one, rejection, and so on). Then, the cognitive connection is made. But somehow, it is not enough for the affective part. It is difficult to remove the causes, as they are external to the self. Neither is possible to avoid them, as the world is a contingent place and it is impossible to control the outcomes of every action, every decision, for every being.

How to cope with it? Of course, in situations that imply some distress, feelings about it should be expected. Nonetheless which is the normal point? When you miss someone, what is normal? How can be measured the level of pain that you have until you can continue living without thinking constantly about it? Because that can constitute a problem: as every moment in life is plagued with goodbyes and departures of different sorts, a person has to develop some adaptative stance, otherwise, there could be a state of perpetual grief.

Anyway, here, as always, the main question is how: how to adapt to those changes? How to experience a healthy grief? Healthy in the sense that the pain can be recognized as unavoidable, but somehow, assimilated so, the person can enjoy his present.

This is a very difficult question. One that poses important issues for a healthy living. And a question for which I haven't found a satisfactory answer.

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