lunes, septiembre 12, 2005

Everything is crushing.....

That's how I have been feeling these days. Some of my friends know one of the reasons. The others are a mystery, even for myself. The reason of my thoughts. The thoughts that I don´t reveal to anyone. One part of my reality is crushing. Some part of me is dying at the same time as my hopes. My mind has become a secret pandemonium. I do not know why I think and feel this way. It isn't normal. But, well, after all I am not normal. I knew it since the day I had consciousness.

Everything is falling. Inside and outside, and I do not know how to sustain the walls of my mind and my soul. I don't know how to gain the strenght that I supose to have. I am trying to control myself, as I have always done, but this time, I feel that I am losing it.

I should have been praying, or focusing in the superior power of this universe. Instead of that, I am complaining as always.

Before I complained about my loneliness, my appearance, myself, and the future. Now I complain about all that, but also, about the present and the past.

(And I only write this, because I know that the people who read this is going to "listen" to me, somehow)

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