A Loud Scream.

I don't know why am I writing this. It's senseless, meaningless. But I am doing it. Even when the feelings that were the origin of this post are now fading away.

I am writing, because I feel rage. And I feel rage because of the jealousy, the envy, and the incapacity of living by the rules and the common sense. Or maybe, living like all people live or think.

This rage has its origin in that incapacity. The incapacity of being common. The ignorance of the ways and the tools of living, and all which is included in it, like talking, loving, dancing, laughing, etc., etc.

The rage of having stupid and imposible hopes. Well, maybe they're not hopes, but illusions. Illusions that are sustained, even when they'll never become true.

The rage of being searching something that maybe doesn't exist (at least in this planet, galaxy or universe)

And the infinite sadness of not being understood. By anyone. Because even your friends will be judging you, ignoring you, or just taking advantage of you. And also hurting you.

But there's got to be an opening, somewhere here in front of me, through this maze of ugliness and greed....

And the certainty of a deep loneliness. A loneliness and a feeling of not being never in the right place. Or said with better words "in your place". And under these circumpstances you are only a sinner, a poor guy who is twisted and need some help. Clearly, the far, the better.

After all these, I understand how can anyone be taken to the "dark side" of life. The conjunction of all these feelings together, with the rejection and/or indifference is enough to drive anyone crazy.

I don't even know how I survived.....

See you.

(Esta bien, desahogo desahogo, no se porque lo escribi asi. Tal vez una parte quisiera que el mundo supiese y otra, en mi fuero interno, no lo quizo. El punto es que ahi esta.)